Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
