a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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