Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
