Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
