and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
