Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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