You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
