god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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