I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
