what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
