Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
is this the sara with the beer cane?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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