I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize