If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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