u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
