Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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