He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
