Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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