last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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