This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
