I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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