why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize