We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just invented taco cereal.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
