You really coming over, don't trick.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
