I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
the raccoons are back...
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