so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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