We got so high we made milksteak
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
