Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
