my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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