My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
should my penis look like a turkey
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
