I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
