What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just pee around me
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
