You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
