C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
