I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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