I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
