The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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