I can text with my tongue
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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