Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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