I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
