so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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