What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You can't special order awesome
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
