Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
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