Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
