Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
