i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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