Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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