A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
