My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
