you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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