i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The adults are the big ones right?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
