after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
