i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We talked him into tasing himself.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
