thus making me awesome and them whores
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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