i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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