Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
