I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
