Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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