What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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