Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
