just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
