I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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